We’re left with two episodes… Honestly, i’m feeling so sour. With the two, standing there, crying… being so helpless. It really hurts, to watch them. One standing there, wanting to keep her, but is unable to because of love… the other one, wanting to stay with him because of love, even though she might die. I’m pretty sure Eunsoo’s last item, the last item left by “Hwata” will be able to save the situation… Right? I mean, it wouldn’t have been kept to the last minute for no reason… And Eunsoo wouldn’t have left it behind for no reason… Because her diary was left behind to save Choi Young… The last item, will definitely be left behind to save their love. We’re all holding on to this last hope now… for everything else makes me believe that our happy ending won’t come.
I’m not the greatest fan of happy endings, because they spoil beautiful shows half the time, but this show… I really need one. Because i don’t want the two of them to be living like the dead… I thought… i need a happy ending for Young at first, because it would be painful to see him living like a dead person, torturing himself twice.. But I want it more for Eunsoo now.. Every time I hear Ali’s Carry On, i think of Eunsoo, sitting alone in a cab in 2012, looking out of the window, tearing, thinking of how Choi Young will be living. She will be in so much pain, because she saw how Choi Young was like, living like the dead because of his master and his first love… She’s seen it, and therefore she held back her feelings all these while… Choi Young, on the other hand, is rather clueless on how she would feel, and that’s why she needed to remind him… Asking him, if he ever knew how she would feel, being all alone in 2012.
I can’t imagine life being Eunsoo when she returns to 2012… Nothing to hold on to… Because she’s not even living in the place where she fell in love with him… Makes me think of one song i heard, the lyrics went… “That place, was the place in which I fell for you.” When Eunsoo returns to 2012, she won’t even be able to see the place she was in with him, to remember their times together… Holding on to something, that seems to be a dream, because there’s nothing to verify that it actually happened to her, other than her feelings, and the pain in her heart, because of her love, and him. To Choi Young, heaven might seem to be a better place for her, but for her, Goryeo will never be a good place for him to live in. Without love, which made Choi Young live again, how can he survive in that place? Seeing bloodshed every single day, especially… when his sword is now heavy.. Or rather, the sword is no longer his friend. When a warrior doesn’t know how to use a sword anymore, what is he? Without knowing how to use a sword, without the one he fell in love with, the one who made him live again… He can only be in pain.. However, someone else will have it worse than him. The one that pains for the one in pain. Eunsoo will be in pain, because of Young who is in pain. The one who pains for the one in pain, always has it worse.
Well, of course, Young will definitely pain for her as well, but for now, he probably thinks Heaven is a better place for her to be in… Maybe now, at the end of episode 22, after Eunsoo explained her thoughts to him, he probably is finally aware of the pain Eunsoo will be in back in 2012… Still, he probably doesn’t know Eunsoo’s pain, as much as Eunsoo knows his pain, because she saw it… She saw the him, who lived like the dead, when she first came to Goryeo. She saw the him, who lived, just not to die. The him, who risked his life everyday… The him, who had no will of living, because of the pain within him. Therefore she knows it well now, how he will be like, when she leaves him. And she’ll be in pain, knowing the state he’ll be in. She will be living, worse than being dead, for she will be one who will be in pain because of another person’s pain…
Honestly, if not for the fortune teller and his one year thing of her coming back, i could accept a happy ending, with her heading back to 2012 when the portal opens, get cured, and return to Goryeo before the door closes. But the way the fortune teller said it was that she will go to somewhere for a year and return after that, so that just kills all hopes for me. God, please save them, they’re so helpless, wanting to love with all their hearts, but because of love as well, they can’t do so. How can fate be so cruel to them? A couple from different times, falling in love in the same time and space… It’s fate, they were bound to fall in love… And it’s better to have loved than to never, but if the pain is gonna be so deep, why for?
Just wanted to mention how Kim Hee Sun’s acting exceeded my expectations. She’s definitely still not the best at acting, but what she has, was enough to touch my heart. I wasn’t convinced that she loved CY earlier… But with the recent episodes, she was just another ordinary girl, in love. Trying so hard to express herself… And words come out painfully, as she tries to hold it back… She did well for the role, way better than i thought she could, and she would. What she did for Eunsoo’s role, was enough to convey the feelings we needed to know… the feelings of Eunsoo, a girl who never knew what’s love, a girl who never fell in love like this, a girl who traveled through time, a girl who wanted all these to be a dream… A girl that fell in love with a warrior, in which she shouldn’t have fallen for… Just an ordinary girl… who truly fell in love for the first time… And a girl who would give up everything, just to be with the person she loves, to spend each and everyday left with the one she loves.. Even if it means that she’ll die… Even if it is going to be her last day.
Yes, she’s selfish… Cause staying means she might die in front of his eyes, and he will live life like how he did for the past 7 years, with Maehee’s death… But she’s just another girl in love.. So what if she returns safely to 2012… Will either of them be happy? Both will drown in sorrow, not being able to know how each of them are living… They could probably guess that both of them are going to live like the dead… Thinking about each other everyday… Hoping that they’re fine… Maybe just living on to keep and hold on to their memories. This is why she wants to stay, so that she can hold on to that last hope and the last chance that she can make her own antidote, and stay with the man she loves forever. She’s betting on that 1% of living, even if everything fails in the end… Because if this 1% can give them their happily ever after, she will risk everything for it. Of course, i felt that it was very selfish of her, wanting to stay, telling him that if she ever dies, just hold her till the very end. As Choi Young, hearing this, what does she expect him to do? Say… he understands, and let her stay?
Choi Young always thinks of others before himself, so this is definitely something he cannot do… He rather know she’s living, rather than to see her die. So on this, I’m definitely on Choi Young’s side. He’ll definitely try to get her to the heaven’s door, somehow, and that’s the only thing he will do. Even so, i understand Eunsoo… Because sometimes with love, you have to be selfish. You have to be selfish, and work hard for what you want to attain: The happy ending. So now, she’s just trying, with all her might, to make the antidote. Because it’s her only hope for a happy end. Because… if there’s just one hope of a happy ending, no one in love would ever give up on that hope… Even if everything else disappoints.
But of course, as much as i want that miracle to come through, that she will make the antidote, and they can live happily ever after in Goryeo, we know that it probably won’t come through. Because she’ll return to Goryeo according to what the fortune teller said… I don’t think it’ll be because CY forces her, nor because she changed her mind to go back and live for him… Again i say, i think it’ll be because of some circumstances where she’ll have to leave Goryeo to save Choi Young. After all, Eunsoo’s love is great. Well, I’m still holding on to that last hope… Hwata’s last item, the last item she leaves behind. It must be something so great, beyond our imaginations, that will help the awesome pair get their happy ending right? I hope… Sigh.. Will we ever be able to see their smiles again?
I cried a few times, as i typed this post, thinking of the pain Eunsoo will be in… But I’m glad the pain is coming now… Because this shows that there’s hope for a happy ending. Because now that things are not going the way our couple wants it to go… It might roll towards a happy ending, with Eunsoo’s last item. I’m wondering how they’re going to wrap up the whole show in the last two episodes though, since… there seems like a lot more to tell.. Or at least, a lot more i want to see. Whatever the case, my hopes are all on Eunsoo’s last item now. I almost forgot about the last item, and therefore i kept thinking that there was no hope at all, for the past few weeks. I’m just… hanging on to that hope now… *sobs*
Lastly, I must say.. Eunsoo is great. I don’t think i can ever go through what she’s going through… Having to go through all these, something she would never go through in 2012.. She’s really strong. Looking at things go according to history, holding it all in… Having to hear Noguk, holding in the pain for them, knowing NG-GM’s horrible fate.. Seeing many people die everyday… something she wouldn’t see in 2012.. And most of all, falling in love with someone she knows she cannot fall for… Still, holding on to him and their love, even if she knows it will end in vain. Knowing that she will most probably die in the end, she’s still holding on to the love she yearns for… Holding on to that last hope. Girl, you deserve a hug. Things will get worse from now, but i know you can get through this, and i’m proud of you. Even if a happy ending won’t come, you’ll be strong, right? Don’t live like a dead person, if you end up in 2012, alone. Because Choi Young would want to live, knowing you’re alive and kicking. He doesn’t want to know that because of him, you stopped living like a person. You should live well, better than the life you had before you fell for him, for this love, should be something that will give you a stronger will to live on. For Choi Young would want to know that because of this love, you’re living better than before… Even if he can never find out how you live after this, at least, you’re living well. So, the both of you… Live well, with each other in mind… Show that this love has made you two stronger… and that this love, has given you two a stronger will to live happily. Even if a happy ending doesn’t come, take this love as a special gift… Not something that caused you pain, but something you’ve gained. Because… It’s better to have loved, than never. *sobs*
I need to stop being emotional. Sigh. I can’t believe Faith is coming to an end. Without any expectations, i started this beautiful drama, that left me insane, week after week. It might not be the best… with bad directing, a script that could be guessed at times, and many other flaws, but ultimately, it’s lovely, and it touched my heart. Let’s just keep the Faith, and our ending will be pretty.
This is just to cheer you up, if you’ve been crying with me.
Credit DC, Tumblr, glenannes for all the pictures